


McKinley's First Fight Club

by mariaco790



Category: Glee
Genre: Bonding, Family, Fight Club References, Homoeroticism, Humor, Kurt is judgey, Puck is an asshole, furt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 03:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19142314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariaco790/pseuds/mariaco790
Summary: Puck and Blaine have the genius idea of putting together a Fight Club. Kurt disapproves. It goes about as well as expected. Set late Season 3. One shot. Furt-centric.





	McKinley's First Fight Club

**Author's Note:**

> It's taken me about 4 years to write this little fic. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee

Many times over the last few years Kurt had asked himself the question, ‘How the hell did I find this attractive?’ The ‘this’ in question was Finn Hudson. After their basement blowout in sophomore year, Kurt’s somewhat stalkerish feelings quickly subsided. After their parents married and they all moved in together, Kurt quickly learnt to love and appreciate Finn as a brother. The two were now closer than ever, despite their frequent arguments.

But still, sometimes Kurt thought back to his younger self and wondered what he’d say if he saw the position the two were engaged in today, i.e. both shirtless and sweaty, writhing on the floor in each others arms.

Okay maybe that needed a bit of context.

It was all Puck’s fault, and maybe Blaine’s, but he was sleeping with Blaine and couldn’t really stay too mad at him. So yeah, Puck’s fault. He supposed he could probably blame Finn as well, that wouldn’t be too difficult, he usually blamed everything on Finn. It all started back when Blaine transferred to McKinley. Finn and Blaine had practically declared war on each other, and after a few months of bickering and angry tension between them (which Kurt did his damn best to try and stay out of), they had a big locker room confrontation, and quickly became friends in time for sectionals. It was during that confrontation that Blaine let slip that he was a member of Dalton’s fight club (which Kurt didn’t even know about). Anyway, a few months later, Finn mentioned the fight club in passing to Puck, whose eyes quickly lit up like a Christmas tree. Apparently he was part of a fight club as well, and finally finding something in common with Blaine, started talking to him about it (it had been a while since Kurt had seen the movie, but he was almost positive there was a rule against doing that. In fact, he was pretty sure there were two rules about it).

A few days later, Puck and Blaine gathered the rest of the guys in the choir room, and announced the formation of the ‘New Directions Fight Club’. Kurt rolled his eyes as the rest of the guys cheered.

“Barbaric.” He muttered.

“What was that princess?” Puck asked.

“I said it’s barbaric. And stupid.”

“And manly.” Puck grinned.

Kurt glared at his boyfriend. “Why?”

Blaine shrank a little under his gaze, “I thought it might be fun, a good bonding exercise.”

“Beating each other up?” Kurt asked.

“Calm down, we won’t go that rough. Blaine and I might be experts, but we know the rest of you aren’t.”

Kurt studied the room; it contained all the guys in Glee club, with the exception of Mr Schuester. Kurt was wondering why he was there with them. Puck and Blaine had to know that he would never approve of something like this. He was unsure of why he was invited.

“Why am I here?”

Puck backed down a little at this and looked a little uneasy, Blaine adopted a similar manner.

“Well,” Kurt barked at them, “spit it out.”

“It’s just, we need a location, and your parents are out of town this weekend, and you have that big basement and we wanted to –"

“My basement?” Kurt asked incredulously, “You want to do this insane activity in my basement?”

“Our basement.” Finn quickly cut in, looking slightly peeved. “And why are you asking him for permission to use it and not me?”

“Kurt’s scarier than you.” Puck simply said.

“Damn straight.” Said Artie.

“No.” Kurt said crossing his arms. “I’m not letting you.”

“Come on Hummel, it’ll be fun.” Puck asked. “Tell him Finn.”

“You know Kurt, it could be kinda –“

“No way.”

“Give me one good reason why not.” Puck asked.

“I’ll give you more than one. It’s stupid, it’s dangerous, someone could get seriously hurt. And then there’s the big one.”

“Which is?”

“Hosting an illegal fight club in the home a prominent government official. Or have you forgotten that my dad’s a congressman?” Kurt warned.

“Ah, forgot about that.”

“I thought you might.”

“But still, we’re doing it anyway, with or without you. This Saturday.”

“And if I don’t let you in?”

“Finn will, or Sam, and Blaine knows where the emergency key is.”

Kurt knew he was defeated. He could let them carry on playing their insane games alone, but one of them would undoubtedly end up in the emergency room, and it would probably be Finn. At least if he was there, he could supervise, and try to keep the damage to a minimum.

“Fine.” He sighed, as the rest of the guys cheered.

Puck grinned at him again. “You’ll love it Princess.”

***

So Saturday evening came and most of the guys were all gathered in the Hudmel’s basement. Joe had backed out once he discovered what Fight Club actually was, and starting throwing out messages about passages about peace and love. Needless to say, he wasn’t terribly missed. Artie had decided to give it a miss as well, for obvious reasons. He said he would’ve stayed to watch, but he would’ve gotten jealous over not being able to participate.

Kurt had chosen to sit down on the stairs, for two reasons. He had a good vantage point over the ‘ring’ so he could watch carefully, and he was close to the door out, in case he got fed up and left. He’d also been sure to keep a first aid kit near him, for when the inevitable happened. Puck and Blaine had started explaining the rules to the gang.

“The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is you DO NOT talk about fight club.”

Kurt smirked, he knew he was right, “So how’d you two organise this again?”

“Shut it Hummel.” 

Kurt smiled innocently at him.

Kurt was only half paying attention as Puck and Blaine continued explaining the rest of the rules. He wasn’t particularly interested in them. Although the ‘No shirt, no shoes’ one would be interesting. It was the last one that really roused his interest though.

“If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.” Puck said, pointedly looking at Kurt as he did so.

“Have to?” Kurt asked.

“Yup.” Puck grinned at him. Kurt knew what he was planning. He was seriously regretting being there, and he wished he’d made plans with one of the girls.

“Who’s first?” Puck asked happily.

“I’ll go.” Sam and Mike said in unison.

***

Kurt would never admit it out loud, but he was enjoying himself. Now Kurt had probably seen most of the guys in glee club shirtless dozens of times in the last few years. Hell, he’d probably seen Finn and Blaine sans top hundreds of times. It was unavoidable, due to regular costume changes and locker rooms. Also, he and Finn had been living together for ages, of course he had seen Finn in various states of undress, and obviously he was familiar with Blaine’s anatomy. But this was different. This was, and he was ashamed to say it, hot.

As the boys fought half-naked, their bodies pressed close together, often unintentionally groping each other in sensitive areas, Kurt couldn’t help but feel a little turned on. It was one of the most homoerotic things he'd ever seen. Yes he had a boyfriend, and yes these guys were all his friends. But he was still a hormonal teenage boy. He couldn’t help it. He did eventually feel really guilty about it though, and mentally berated himself for being aroused at his friends.

After about forty-five minutes, and four matches, he discovered that he really shouldn’t have been that worried about anyone getting hurt. For a bunch of football players, they were a sorry bunch of wusses, too scared to actually inflict any real damage on each other. Kurt had only used his first aid kit twice. Once to patch up a tiny cut on Mike’s stomach (Sam apparently had sharp nails) and when he gave an ice patch to Rory, who stubbed his toe on a table leg.

Well he was enjoying himself, until Finn and Blaine decided to fight each other, and all eyes fell on Kurt, as if silently asking him who he was rooting for. The boys in the centre of the room looked hopefully at him. Kurt looked between his brother and his boyfriend.

“No way am I choosing between you two.” He said shortly.

“Pick a side.” Puck ordered.

“I’d say Finn, he’s got a size advantage.” Sam offered.

“Yeah, but Blaine has experience, and he’s scrappy.” Mike countered.

Blaine started to speak up to plead his case, “Kurt, babe, if you pick me I’ll do that thing you like later tonight in bed.” He said suggestively, causing more than one knowing eye roll amongst the other inhabitants of the basement, and making Kurt blush furiously.

Finn also tried to get Kurt on his side, “Just remember Kurt, boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go, but this...” he then started gesturing emphatically between the two of them, as though to emphasise their familial relationship, “...is forever.”

Kurt just smirked at both of them. There was no way in hell would ever publicly announce his support, even if internally he was rooting for Blaine. He would have tried a little harder  
to stay neutral, but that morning Finn had took advantage of their parents being away and started playing the drums at 7AM. So Kurt was still a little pissed at him for waking him up.

“I told you,” he started, “I’m staying out of this one. Now stop postponing it, and fight.”

Kurt had a feeling this would be a big match, and he wasn't the only one. All around the basement the other glee club members had fallen silent and were watching with great trepidation. Although Finn and Blaine had long since gotten past their differences, Kurt (and apparently the others) had a feeling there was still some resentment lingering. 

...And he was right. No sooner than the boys stripped and stepped into the ring to fight, did Finn launch himself at Blaine. Blaine, however easily dodged it, causing Finn to fall flat on his face in the spot where Blaine stood seconds earlier. After a few snickers from the onlookers, Puck in particular looking positively gleeful, Blaine offered a hand to his fallen friend. That was his first mistake.

See Kurt had gotten to know Finn quite well over the last few years, in fact he probably knew him better than anyone, so when he saw him (rather spectacularly) faceplant the floor and heard his supposed friends laughing at him, Kurt knew full well that his temper would flare. When Finn got angry, bad stuff happened, usually just to any furniture in his immediate vicinity, but this time there was a living, breathing person in front of him that he was actively being encouraged to fight. Kurt could see his face rapidly turning red with anger and annoyance and immediately felt for Blaine when he noticed his arm extending to help Finn up. Poor fool. Finn grabbed his arm and used his considerable weight advantage to pull Blaine to the ground and start wrestling him. Amongst the rapid rolling around on the floor Kurt found it difficult to see what was going on in between them, but after a few seconds the movement stopped and Finn was pinning Blaine to the ground in a way that made Kurt awfully flushed and embarrassingly turned on again, but before he knew it Puck was counting to three and the fight was over, declaring Finn the victor.

The two boys stood up and fist bumped. Finn's anger gone and looking absolutely thrilled at the outcome, having finally felt like he'd bested Blaine at something. Blaine meanwhile was being a good sport and smiling and looking happy for Finn, but Kurt could see the disappointment in his eyes. Kurt made a mental note to do something nice for him later to help him get over it, like making him a special dinner, or burning one of Finn's favourite shirts. Yeah, Blaine might really enjoy that.

"Your turn Princess." Kurt was interrupted from his thoughts by Puck. 

"Stop calling me that," Kurt replied, "and no way am I fighting. I'm only here in case of an emergency."

Puck was laughing at him. "How funny that you think you have a choice. You're fighting Hummel, whether you like or not. But I think you'll do it willingly."

"How so?" Kurt questioned, genuinely interested in how Puck would get him to fight.

"Because although you claim to be a pacifier -"

"Pacifist." Kurt corrected.

Puck ignored him. "And an 'honorary girl'. There's still a part of you that wants to prove that you can be one of the boys. Plus, you really love feeling superior to people, and what better way to do that than taking on, and winning against, a football player." Puck finished, then adding, "Or Rory, sorry kid."

Kurt considered him. Puck knew him better than he thought. He made a valid point, sometimes he felt envious of Blaine when he saw him hanging out with the guys, talking about sports or whatever, knowing that he didn't really fit in with them. Yes they were all his friends and he liked them, and he knew they liked him too. But he just had very little in common with them, and often felt excluded and detached, so maybe yeah, he did want to prove something to them all and win their respect.

Kurt looked to Puck, who was grinning at him from the makeshift ring, he knew he'd won, and Kurt hated that.

"Pick someone." Puck said, that stupid grin getting more annoying by the second.

Blaine interjected, "Kurt, babe, you don't have to -"

Kurt cut him off. "Yes I do." 

"And not Blaine." Puck added. "If I wanted to watch a couple of homos roll around on the floor I'd watch a gay porno, so not him."

Kurt would've argued with him, but he had a point, not the somewhat homophobia, but he'd fight with him another time about that. No, he was right about not fighting Blaine. Getting into a physical sparring match with one's significant other probably wouldn't be good for the relationship.

He stood up and looked around the room, scoping out a potential competitor. Puck was still grinning at him from the centre of the room, Kurt would love nothing more than to wipe that stupid smirk off his face, but he wasn't an idiot. Puck could easily kick his ass and wouldn't be afraid to hold back. He looked to the corner of the room, where Mike, Sam and Rory were standing. Mike was a dancer and could almost certainly pull off some serious moves in a fight, as he had proved during an earlier match, so he was out. He liked Sam a lot, he really did. They had gotten a lot closer during the last few months that he had staying with them, and he knew him pretty well. Beating him up might damage their budding friendship so he was out. Then there was Rory. He could probably take Rory in his sleep, he didn't look like much of a threat, which is exactly why he was out as well. Kurt needed to fight someone who could challenge him, or at least make it look like a challenge if he was to prove his worth to the guys, which really only left one option...

"I choose Finn." Kurt announced to the room.

Kurt knew Finn inside and out. Kurt knew exactly how he would fight. Kurt knew all his strengths and weaknesses. Kurt also knew that Finn would never lay a finger on him after their troubled history together, which he made a point of proving quite regularly. Finn was also enormous. If Kurt could beat up a guy his size, he would forever win the adoration and respect of the guys (and he was hating himself because of how much this was getting to him). And Finn knew that he knew this.

Puck looked disappointed by his choice, Kurt knew he was really looking forward to whaling on him. Mike and Rory looked a little relieved, but not as much as Sam did. Sam had lived with Kurt for months now, he knew Kurt was a force to be reckoned with. At the other side of the room Blaine looked surprised at Kurt's choice, and beside him was Finn, looking downright terrified.

"M-me?" Finn stuttered.

"Yes, dear brother. You." Kurt said, walking towards the centre of the room, unbuttoning his shirt as he did so. 

Puck, feeling a little happier with the turn of events after noticing Finn's horror, grabbed his reluctant arm and dragged him to the ring where Kurt was shucking off his shirt and tossing it to Blaine to take care of. After directing Kurt and Finn into their positions facing each other, Puck moved just outside the ring, and blew a whistle that he had seemingly pulled from nowhere, signalling that the match had begun.

Kurt adopted a fighting stance and started to devise tactics. He knew Finn would never make the first move, so he took his time to really study him, and look for places he could exploit. He noticed a bruise forming on his left shoulder and a scratch mark near his navel, both seemingly from where Blaine had got him during their struggle. These would be good places to hit again, but Kurt really didn't want to hurt Finn that much, he loved the big lug. He also knew Finn's pride and rep would take a massive fall if Kurt bested him in public, something which he would never forgive Kurt for. He needed a plan. He needed to put on as much of a show as possible, to make it look like he could put up a decent fight, but still allow Finn to maintain face.

Launching forward he tackled Finn, wrapping his arms around Finn's, immobilising them. Then he used his legs to trip his brother, sending both of them to the ground, Kurt landing flat on top of him, Finn groaning somewhat from the pain and slight humiliation.

The other boys started whooping as Kurt adjusted his position and lightly drove his knee into Finn's stomach, winding him somewhat. He intentionally didn't use enough force, and Finn recovered almost instantly. Finn flipped them around, pinning Kurt to the floor underneath him. As Kurt lightly struggled against him, with Finn appearing to have the advantage, Kurt felt like he'd put in enough effort to put on a good show, and could tap out. He'd gotten some good attacks on Finn to enhance his standing with the others, while still allowing Finn the win. Nobody was really expecting Kurt to win, and he was fine with that.

He was about to tap out when suddenly Finn's elbow connected with his face. There was a blinding pain, and then darkness.

*** 

His face was cold, and wet, and very very sore. The world was blurry, and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep. Which he could have if someone hadn't been shaking him.

"Kurt," Blaine asked, concern in his voice, "Are you okay?"

Kurt opened his eyes and everything swam into view. He was lying on the ground, with Blaine crouching beside him, holding an ice pack against Kurt's face. Most of the other boys were standing over him looking relieved that he was awake. He reached up and pulled the ice pack off his face to feel his nose. 'Not broken', he thought, silently rejoicing at the fact that he wouldn't need a nose job.

"Ow." He groaned.

Kurt pulled himself up to a sitting position, with some assistance from Blaine. He could hear Puck laughing somewhere but he didn't care. He just needed to find Finn. He knew he would be panicking somewhere, and he noticed he wasn't standing over him. He looked around and saw him in the corner standing next to a giggling Puck.

"There isn't even that much blood, he'll be fine." Puck remarked humourously, barely able to contain his glee. Finn was white as a sheet next to him, arms folded, and looking absolutely terrified, not having noticed that Kurt was conscious.

"Finn." Kurt said.

Finn looked over, and saw Kurt sitting up. He raced over to Kurt, threw his arms around him, and started babbling at a million miles an hour."

"Oh Kurt thank god I was so worried I thought I killed you and I'm really sorry and I don't know what I would do if you really were-"

"Finn." Interrupted Kurt. His already sore face pressed painfully against Finn's chest.

Finn seemed not to hear him, "and I don't know what I would do in prison and you said I don't look good in orange-"

"Finn!" Kurt said again, more forcefully this time.

"And Burt said he would skin me alive if I ever hurt you again and also did I mention that I'm really sorry-"

"Finn I can't breathe!" Kurt yelled.

Finn immediately let go of Kurt took as deep a breath as his injured nose would let him.

Recovering his breath he noticed that Finn still looked terrified. He placed a reassuring hand on Finn's shoulder.

"Finn I'm fine." Kurt said softly.

"But-"

"It was an accident, I'm fine." He repeated.

Finn calmed down a little. "I'm really sorry."

"I know." Kurt lifted the ice pack back up to his face and had Finn and Blaine help him up onto the sofa across the room. He sat down and was about to tilt his head up, hoping it would relieve the pain when he heard a clap across the room.

"Well, I think this has been a rousing success," Puck began, "Should we say same time next week?"

The New Directions boys looked uncomfortable while Kurt, Finn and Blaine just glared at him.


End file.
